Friday, February 29, 2008

ROSCOE.



This spring we hooked up with legendary mascot. Roscoe. Below is the interview.
Check out his myspace page
http://www.myspace.com/roscoethechicken

UC:
Let’s get right to the point. Please let us know what’s going on with you and Roscoe the Waffle.
ROSCOE:
I really don’t discuss my personal issues. I am bigger than that. All I will say is that we grew up together in LA, and his name is not really Roscoe. It’s Clarence. I am the real Roscoe. My mother always enjoyed The Dukes of Hazard. The waffle has no class.

UC:
What about the youtube video he made with you dressed up like a prostitute gangbanger wearing a bandana printed karate belt? It was kind of funny. People say that is why you fled to Europe to do a tour out there.
ROSCOE:
No comment.

UC:
Nothing?
(Roscoe the Chicken calls his manager into the room and whispers. She then tells our crew that legally Roscoe is not allowed to discuss any matters pertaining to Roscoe the Waffle and Roscoe the Chicken. (Apparently, Roscoe the Waffle has used the chicken’s name to start some sort of restaurant chain.)

UC:
Roscoe, I apologize. I did not understand the severity of the matter.
Can we expect a Pay-Per-View event to squash the beef?
(Roscoe get’s up and walks out. His manager enters the room and informs me that if I keep bringing up Roscoe the Waffle, they will leave for good.)
The interview continues.
Introduce yourself to our readers.
I am Roscoe the Chicken. I’ve been called “The Greatest Mascot Alive.” I had nothing more to prove as a mascot, so I retired to pursue my R&B singing career. You may know me now as the first platinum artist on CockAfella Records for my album, “ChickenHead.” I love what the mascot game did for me, but there isn’t any substance these days. You see mascots with a gimmick dance and a catchy saying. There is no respect for the art form anymore.
Are you enjoying the photoshoot?
ROSCOE:
This season is amazing. Their inspiration is genius-- what if the Fab 5 played for the University of Hawaii (instead of Michigan.) Who thinks of this shit? It’s bananas. And how about that orange and black Hawaiian print..?! They took that from the famous wallpaper in the movie, Scarface. It’s so hood, yet classy at the same time.

UC:
Yeah, I noticed that. Color is big this season.
ROSCOE:
Well… growing up yellow, it’s hard not to like color. Just because I’m yellow people always think I’m ghetto. I hate that.

UC:
Don’t worry about me, I have a yellow chicken as a friend. I love rap music. What was your favorite outfit from the line?
ROSCOE:
I didn’t know that this shoot was going to be so risqué. My manager did not inform me that I would be shooting without my pants on. I’m big in Europe, so I’m used to it. However, an advanced warning would have been appreciated. I loved all the tees. My favorite piece was the Sunset Strip Crew. That thing is bullet proof. Like they say, ‘they don’t make things like they used to,’ but undrcrwn does. The quality is amazing.

UC:
Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.We wish you luck with your legal troubles, as well as your European Tour. We’re big fans. Any last requests?
ROSCOE:
Thank you.
Just one request...can you do anything about the bear? He’s overtaken my dressing room with his entourage. He’s been on his cell phone the entire shoot. He keeps talking about someone named Stansbury. Who the hell is he talking about?

UC:
Let’s get right to the point. Please let us know what’s going on with you and Roscoe the Waffle.
ROSCOE:
I really don’t discuss my personal issues. I am bigger than that. All I will say is that we grew up together in LA, and his name is not really Roscoe. It’s Clarence. I am the real Roscoe. My mother always enjoyed The Dukes of Hazard. The waffle has no class.

UC:
What about the youtube video he made with you dressed up like a prostitute gangbanger wearing a bandana printed karate belt? It was kind of funny. People say that is why you fled to Europe to do a tour out there.
ROSCOE:
No comment.

UC:
Nothing?
(Roscoe the Chicken calls his manager into the room and whispers. She then tells our crew that legally Roscoe is not allowed to discuss any matters pertaining to Roscoe the Waffle and Roscoe the Chicken. (Apparently, Roscoe the Waffle has used the chicken’s name to start some sort of restaurant chain.)

UC:
Roscoe, I apologize. I did not understand the severity of the matter.
Can we expect a Pay-Per-View event to squash the beef?
(Roscoe get’s up and walks out. His manager enters the room and informs me that if I keep bringing up Roscoe the Waffle, they will leave for good.)
The interview continues.
Introduce yourself to our readers.
I am Roscoe the Chicken. I’ve been called “The Greatest Mascot Alive.” I had nothing more to prove as a mascot, so I retired to pursue my R&B singing career. You may know me now as the first platinum artist on CockAfella Records for my album, “ChickenHead.” I love what the mascot game did for me, but there isn’t any substance these days. You see mascots with a gimmick dance and a catchy saying. There is no respect for the art form anymore.
Are you enjoying the photoshoot?
ROSCOE:
This season is amazing. Their inspiration is genius-- what if the Fab 5 played for the University of Hawaii (instead of Michigan.) Who thinks of this shit? It’s bananas. And how about that orange and black Hawaiian print..?! They took that from the famous wallpaper in the movie, Scarface. It’s so hood, yet classy at the same time.

UC:
Yeah, I noticed that. Color is big this season.
ROSCOE:
Well… growing up yellow, it’s hard not to like color. Just because I’m yellow people always think I’m ghetto. I hate that.

UC:
Don’t worry about me, I have a yellow chicken as a friend. I love rap music. What was your favorite outfit from the line?
ROSCOE:
I didn’t know that this shoot was going to be so risqué. My manager did not inform me that I would be shooting without my pants on. I’m big in Europe, so I’m used to it. However, an advanced warning would have been appreciated. I loved all the tees. My favorite piece was the Sunset Strip Crew. That thing is bullet proof. Like they say, ‘they don’t make things like they used to,’ but undrcrwn does. The quality is amazing.

UC:
Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.We wish you luck with your legal troubles, as well as your European Tour. We’re big fans. Any last requests?
ROSCOE:
Thank you.
Just one request...can you do anything about the bear? He’s overtaken my dressing room with his entourage. He’s been on his cell phone the entire shoot. He keeps talking about someone named Stansbury. Who the hell is he talking about?